What Years of Broken Sleep Have Taught Me About Surviving a Heatwave
If you'd told me a few years ago that I'd end up in the bath at 2am just to cool down, I wouldn't have believed you.
I woke last night after a brief spell of sleep and despite trying to settle again, I just couldn't cool down. Then an idea popped into my head and, once it was there, I couldn't shake it.
I got up, ran a cool bath at 2am and climbed in for a while, letting my body temperature come back down.
As I lay there afterwards, I realised something. Years of broken sleep had taught me more about surviving hot nights than I'd ever realised.
Motherhood. Anxiety. Periods of insomnia. Jet lag from long-haul flights to Australia.
And, more recently, those frustrating nights when perimenopause had me waking several times to go to the toilet. (Thankfully, that's something HRT has helped enormously with).
All those nights lying awake, desperately wanting to sleep, taught me a few things that have come flooding back as I've tried to sleep during this latest heatwave.
We don't have air conditioning in our house. After our third heatwave this year, I'm beginning to think we should. It's definitely becoming a conversation to have with my husband. Until then, like many people, we're simply trying to get through these hot nights as best we can.
Here are some of the things that genuinely help me when I'm trying to cope with hot nights and broken sleep.
Stop trying to sleep and start trying to relax
This is probably the biggest lesson insomnia ever taught me.
For a couple of years, when my daughter was in the early years of primary school, I suffered with awful insomnia. Life became incredibly difficult without consistent, restorative sleep.
Sleep deprivation is such a horrible thing to live with, and I still have enormous sympathy for anyone going through it. It's about so much more than feeling tired. It's lonely. Physically, emotionally and cognitively, it takes its toll, and when you're trying to function without quality sleep, you're simply not at your best. Looking back, I realise I was trying to get through each day as a lesser version of myself.
Insomnia wasn't the only reason I returned to therapy, but it was certainly one of the things that pushed me towards it. I'd actually tried counselling once in my late twenties, but the experience had been such a poor fit that I'd never really considered it again. Then, one sleepless night, I found myself watching Celebrities: In Therapy on Channel 5. It planted the seed that perhaps it was worth giving therapy another chance and became one of the reasons I eventually reached out for support.
During that time, I eventually realised that lying there getting more and more frustrated wasn't helping. If I wasn't sleeping anyway, there was no point spending hours worrying about not sleeping.
So sometimes I'd get up and watch television. Other nights I'd read a few chapters of a book. It usually meant retreating to the spare room so I didn't disturb my husband's sleep, but more often than not, I'd eventually find myself drifting off again.
Back then, podcasts and audiobooks weren't really a thing like they are now. These days, if I wake in the night, I'm much more likely to listen to one instead.
At the time, I didn't understand why this approach helped. I just knew it did. The less I fought being awake, the easier sleep often came.
Now I realise the goal wasn't to stay awake. It was simply to calm my nervous system enough that sleep had a chance to return naturally.
Opening the windows early has become one of my favourite ways to cool the house after a hot night.
Make the most of the coolest hours at night
At this time of year, I often wake early as soon as it starts getting light, so I've begun making the most of those early hours by opening the windows before the day heats up again.
I've even found myself getting up during the early hours once the outside temperature finally drops, simply to let some cooler air move through the house. If you're awake anyway, you might as well make the most of it. Our cat has become quite used to finding me wandering around in the middle of the night.
We've all heard the advice about keeping curtains closed during the day and, with the record temperatures we've been experiencing this year, I've been living like a mole rat and doing exactly that. Keeping the sunlight out during the day, then making the most of those cooler early morning hours, has made a definite difference.
Another trick I remember learning during trips to Australia was using a damp flannel on my wrists or the back of my neck. Some people even sleep under a lightly damp towel instead of a duvet, with a fan gently circulating the air.
I've not needed to go that far yet, but I completely understand why people do. Sometimes coping simply means being willing to try something different.
If you're looking for more practical advice on staying cool overnight, the British Red Cross also has some helpful tips for coping with hot nights.
Keeping water within easy reach has been one of the simplest ways I've stayed hydrated during this heatwave.
Don't underestimate hydration
In weather like this, most of us probably aren't drinking enough water, or drinking it regularly enough throughout the day. It's so easy to become dehydrated in a heatwave without even realising it.
One thing that's really helped me is keeping glasses and bottles of water dotted around the house, both upstairs and downstairs. If I can see them, I'm much more likely to remember to drink.
Keeping a jug of chilled water in the fridge has also become almost a necessity during the 30-degree temperatures we've experienced. It's such a simple thing, but having cold water ready to refill bottles and glasses throughout the day makes staying hydrated feel much easier.
The better version of me would also remember to take a bottle or a couple of glasses of water upstairs before bed. The reality is, I often forget. More often than not, if I wake during the night, I find myself heading downstairs for a glass of water from the kitchen.
If you're more organised than I am, I'd definitely recommend taking some chilled water to bed with you. If you wake during the night, you can have a drink without fully waking yourself by heading downstairs. Thankfully, getting back to sleep comes quite easily for me these days.
Give yourself permission to adapt
One thing I've learnt over the years is that there's no prize for pretending everything is normal when it clearly isn't.
If sleeping separately for a couple of nights means everyone sleeps better, do it. If downstairs is cooler than upstairs, sleep downstairs. If a cool bath at 2am helps you get back to sleep, climb in the bath.
If the cat wakes you before sunrise, perhaps that's your opportunity to open a few windows and let the cooler air in.
Life doesn't always have to look picture perfect. Sometimes we're simply doing what works.
Maybe that's the real lesson
As I was lying in the bath in the middle of the night, I couldn't help smiling at the absurdity of it all. Twenty years ago, I'd probably have thought I'd completely lost the plot. Now, I just think I've become better at listening to what my body needs.
The older I get, the less interested I am in pushing through for the sake of it. Whether it's working differently during a heatwave, drinking more water, resting when I need to, or accepting that some nights will be broken, I'm learning that life often feels easier when I stop fighting it.
Maybe that's what this heatwave is teaching me. Not how to sleep perfectly, but how to adapt a little more kindly.
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About Sarah
Sarah is the founder of Mindful & Me, a reflective wellbeing space for women in midlife. Through blogs, newsletters and community walks, she shares practical reflections on perimenopause, seasonal living, walking and slowing down in a busy world.