Menoscaring: Why I Think Younger Women Switch Off from the Menopause Conversation

I heard the word ‘menoscare’ for the first time today, and although it surprised me, it struck a chord.

It made me wonder how many younger women are scrolling past or switching off when the word menopause appears. And honestly, if they are, I get it.

When you’re in your thirties, still having regular periods, juggling work, kids, relationships and life, “the change” feels like something far off in the distance - something that happens to older women. I used to think menopause meant your periods had stopped and the hot flushes had begun, so when neither applied to me, I assumed it couldn’t be happening.

It wasn’t until much later that I realised I’d already been living through perimenopause without even knowing what the word meant.

The Silence That Came Before

My mum told me she “sailed through” menopause. That was the whole conversation. No mention of symptoms, no advice, no reassurance.

I didn’t have close family members I could turn to, and back then my friends weren’t talking about it either. It just wasn’t a topic that came up over coffee.

Looking back, I think that silence shaped how unprepared I was. It also highlights a generational gap and our mothers’ lives were different. Their diets were less processed, their stress levels probably lower, and their expectations around work and parenting not quite so all-consuming. It makes sense that their experiences of menopause were too.

And while things have thankfully started to change, it’s easy to see how so many of us reached this stage unaware and unprepared.

The Modern Reality

Fast forward to today and the conversation has changed, at least on the surface. We’ve got documentaries, awareness campaigns, podcasts and brilliant advocates like Davina McCall leading the way. But if I’m honest, those voices felt a little out of reach for me at first - inspiring, yes, but not quite me. It’s what drove me to begin Mindful & Me.

I didn’t see the everyday woman reflected - the one still doing school runs, managing deadlines, trying to sleep properly, and wondering why she feels “off” all the time.

It wasn’t until much later that I realised I’d already been living through perimenopause without even knowing what the word meant. Perimenopause awareness was very different back then, even just a few years ago

I found out at fifty that my perimenopause symptoms had actually started in my early thirties, but I’d attributed them to other reasons and I think that’s really common.

When I finally started piecing things together - the anxiety, itchy skin, brain fog, joint pain, low mood - I realised I’d been ticking off classic perimenopause and menopause symptoms without realising.

I share more about that journey in Embracing Change: My Journey Through Perimenopause, where I look back on how it all began.

When Awareness Feels Overwhelming

Today’s visibility is brilliant, but I do wonder if it’s also creating information fatigue. For women in their 30s and early 40s, the flood of content about hormones, symptoms and supplements can feel scary - like something they’d rather not think about until they have to, especially with so many horror stories on social media about what a difficult stage of life it can be.

That’s where menoscaring comes in. We can unintentionally make menopause sound like an inevitable horror story, when actually it’s a natural transition that deserves understanding, not fear.

We also need more positive examples showing that on the other side of it, life can feel calmer, stronger and more aligned - a thriving new chapter that’s often just beginning.

Finding Balance and Empowerment

What’s needed, I think, is balance:

Early awareness, not alarm.
Open conversations, not overwhelm.
Focus on lifestyle and wellbeing, not just symptoms.
More visibility of real women sharing their stories in relatable ways.

Because the earlier we understand what’s happening in our bodies, the more equipped we are to navigate it with calm and confidence.

What I Wish I’d Known

If I could go back and tell my younger self a few things, it would be this:

You don’t have to wait for hot flushes to start paying attention. Perimenopause can begin years before your final period. Small, mindful habits - movement, sleep, nourishing food, less alcohol, more time in nature - can genuinely make a difference. And most importantly: you’re not alone, even if it feels like you’re the only one trying to make sense of it.

An Invitation from My Younger Self

If you’re not there yet, don’t switch off.

Listen, learn, and stay curious about your body not because you should worry, but because awareness is a kind of self-care. I’d tell my younger self that understanding what’s ahead isn’t something to fear; it’s something that helps you meet each change with compassion and confidence. Because one day, when you start to join the dots, you’ll be glad you didn’t scroll past.