I’ve Been Wondering… Is This Me?
Recognising ADHD traits in midlife and learning to meet myself with compassion.
This year has been a big one for self-work and reflection. I turn 53 in December, and I’ve made space and spent a lot of time learning and trying to understand myself better: how I think, and what truly supports my wellbeing.
Somewhere along that journey, I started to notice patterns that felt familiar yet newly visible. I began to recognise traits in myself that I’d never named before, traits often linked to ADHD.
For years, I’d brushed off my busy mind, the constant tabs open in my head (and on my laptop), and the way I could jump between ideas with enthusiasm but struggle to finish them all. I’ve always been someone who thrives under pressure, but I’m also someone who can lose hours to a single thought or distraction.
Lately, I’ve also been lucky to work with some wonderful clients, some who have ADHD themselves, and some who are ADHD coaches. Through them, I’ve learned so much. Their openness and tips have helped me raise my own awareness and find practical lifestyle strategies that genuinely make a difference.
It wasn’t until perimenopause that these patterns started to feel louder, as if the volume had been turned up. As I’ve learned more about how hormonal changes can affect dopamine and focus, I’ve started to see how perimenopause can amplify ADHD traits and sensitivities, and vice versa. It’s as though the coping mechanisms that used to work don’t quite stretch as far anymore.
As I began learning more about hormonal changes and how they affect focus, I also started to reflect on my own journey with perimenopause. I share more about that experience in my post Embracing Change: My Journey Through Perimenopause.
I’ve read and listened a lot this year, and I’ve realised how many women in midlife are piecing together similar experiences, suddenly seeing themselves reflected in stories of late ADHD realisation. Yet, it’s easy to question it. There have been moments where I’ve thought, am I just jumping on the bandwagon? But then I remember how many of us have spent years masking, doubting, and pushing through without the language to describe what we were feeling.
For now, I haven’t decided to seek a formal diagnosis. I’m still thinking about it. But at this point, self-awareness feels like enough. It’s helping me notice my rhythms: the bursts of motivation, the foggy days, the times when I need stillness. It’s helping me drop the guilt that used to follow. Instead of labelling myself as lazy or disorganised, I’m learning to meet myself with curiosity and kindness.
Lately, I’ve been reminding myself to slow down and return to simple habits that help me feel grounded, a theme I explore more in Autumn Reset: Simple Midlife Self-Care & September Reflections.
Recognising these patterns isn’t about giving myself a label; it’s about understanding my mind with more compassion. And that awareness alone has felt freeing, like a quiet exhale after years of trying to keep up.
If you’ve found yourself wondering the same, you’re not alone in asking these questions or in finding new ways to understand yourself during midlife. Sometimes, awareness itself is the most powerful step.
I’d love to hear what you’ve been noticing in your own midlife journey. Come and share your experiences with me over on Instagram - I’ll be posting more reflections and insights there too.
