I Stopped Waiting for a Holiday to Slow Down
Every year during our family camping holiday, there would come a moment when I'd catch myself thinking the same thing. Usually, it was while sitting outside the tent with a morning cup of tea or watching the tide turn at the beach.
"I wish I could bring this feeling home."
At the time, I thought I was talking about the holiday itself. The sea air. The slower mornings. The evenings spent outside. The break from routine.
A few days later, we'd be back home. The car would be unpacked. Washing would go straight into the machine. The fridge would need restocking. Before long, everyday life would have slipped back into its familiar rhythm.
Looking back now, I don't think I was really talking about the holiday at all.
It wasn't the place. It was the pace of it.
It Was Never Really About the Holiday
It was waking up without immediately thinking about everything that needed doing. It was spending less time looking at a screen and more time noticing what was around me. It was walking because I wanted to, not because I was trying to hit a step count. It was having enough space to think.
I wonder how many of us spend most of the year looking forward to a holiday because it's one of the few times we allow ourselves to slow down. We tell ourselves life will feel easier when work is quieter, when the children are back at school, when summer arrives, or when everything feels a little less busy.
Perhaps we're all waiting for permission to slow down.
Bringing That Feeling Home
This past year, something has changed for me. Not dramatically. My life isn't suddenly calm all the time. I still have weeks where everything feels a bit too loud and fast. I still overthink. I still catch myself trying to fit too much into one day. I've stopped waiting for a holiday to slow down.
Somehow, little by little, I've brought that feeling home. It no longer belongs to just one fortnight away each year. It's become part of my everyday life.
It wasn't one big decision. It was lots of small ones.
Saying yes to a walk instead of another hour at my laptop.
Leaving my phone in another room more often and listening to an audiobook instead of scrolling.
Leaving space in my diary instead of automatically filling it.
Saying no more often.
Delegating more at home.Taking time to notice the changing seasons. (Something I've written about before in I Didn't Know I Was Wintering.)
Letting some things wait until tomorrow instead of believing everything had to be done today.
Midlife has a way of making us stop and reassess what really matters. Perimenopause has certainly done that for me. It's something I first began writing about in At 46, No One Mentioned Perimenopause. It made me realise that the pace I'd been trying to keep up with for years was no longer sustainable and no longer the way I wanted to live.
A Life That Feels Slower and Kinder
For a while, I thought the answer was to get back to the version of myself I used to be. The woman who could juggle everything, say yes to almost anything and keep going without giving much thought to whether it was costing her. Now I see things differently. Instead of trying to get back to who I was, I've slowly started building a life that feels kinder to the person I am now.
I've also started questioning something I'd believed for years: the idea that rest has to be earned. That slowing down is something you do after everything else is finished. That taking a break is a reward rather than a necessity.
What has that looked like in practice?
More walks.
More time outdoors.
More noticing the changing seasons.
More conversations with women who understand this stage of life.
Less rushing.
Less filling every spare hour.
Less pressure to always be productive.
Becoming aware of my ADHD traits has also played a part in all of this. It's helped me understand why I've spent so many years pushing through, masking how overwhelmed I felt and expecting myself to cope in the same way I thought everyone else could. These days, I'm learning to work with myself instead of constantly against myself. I've written more about that journey in Late ADHD Awareness in Midlife: Hearing Myself Described Out Loud, if you'd like to read more.
Life doesn't feel like a permanent holiday. There are still stressful weeks. There are still days when I slip back into old habits. But overall, life feels calmer than it used to.
We head off on our camping holiday again soon, and I'm looking forward to the sea, the slower mornings and everything that comes with a week away. But this year feels different. For years, I'd go away hoping I could somehow bring that feeling home with me. This year, I don't think I'll need to. Little by little, I've realised it was never really about the holiday.
It was about the life I wanted to come home to.
Keep reading
You might also enjoy:
The Weekend I Stopped Measuring Creative Output
Late ADHD Awareness in Midlife: Hearing Myself Described Out Loud
And if you'd like more reflections like these delivered direct to your inbox, I'd love to welcome you to The Pause, my monthly newsletter for women navigating midlife.
Once a month, I share thoughtful reflections on midlife, walking, wellbeing, seasonal living and everyday life, along with my latest blog posts and a glimpse of what's ahead for me. It's a chance to pause, take a breath and spend a few minutes with a cup of tea.
About Sarah
Sarah is the founder of Mindful & Me, a reflective wellbeing space for women in midlife. Through blogs, newsletters and community walks, she shares practical reflections on perimenopause, seasonal living, walking and slowing down in a busy world.